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So the theory is Obama has an IQ between 140 and 165. They get this from the fact that he did so well in college. I think it’s safe to say my IQ is lower than Obama’s. But I am way smarter than GWB. My SAT’s were better for one. And I’m just plain smarter.
I know I’m not meant to be President. I may be pretty good for Mayor or even Governor for a small, easy to govern state. I’m pretty smart. But President? No way. Couldn’t even successfully campaign. I’d Palin the whole thing. Totally. How did George W do it? If you think about it, he did a good job with what he had to work with.
Wow, medical examiners are hot. Male and female. I’m not sure if the tv producers pick them cuz they’re hot or it’s just an unknown fact about morgue workers, but I’m watching this show called “Dead Men Talking” and the threesome cutting this guy open is a sexy little trio in their smocks. And it’s making the scene palatable. The case is a naked man found with his head through a wall.They’re trying to figure out reason of death. Bloody head. Naked old guy.
They find this case unusual, which leads me to believe that most death is quite boring. I mean, he was a drunk who fell down the stairs. Yeah, putting your head through a wall is embarrasing, but not all that shocking. Oooh..wait…the hot, perky blond is using the saw on his skull.
Okay, I’m back.
So, what is our fascination with all this stuff? I mean, I’m fascinated. Why? (Distracted again. Doc is explaning bruising on the brain…wow…hottieeeee..). If you sit in front of your tv for a day, you can see medical examiners with dead bodies, serial killer documentaries, a whole series devoted to women who kill their husbands (“Snapped”), and cold cases. If you haven’t gotten your fill, there’s a ton of fictional shows about the same stuff. We love crime, death, and the people who spend their work week sorting it all out. I would say this stuff takes up about 40% of our television airtime. I mean, think about it, all the CSI shows, all the true crime channels like ID and trutv, horror flicks, thrillers, Dexter, Criminal Minds, Nancy Grace, Locked Up, blah blah blah. It goes on and on and on.
Most of us would not want to do this for a living, I think. I’m taking criminal analysis classes and it’s quickly turned from desire to change fields to just an interest. Why? It’s horrible. You see dead people all day. You see people who look like you in those bloody photos. Or look like a loved one or a friend. It’s not a fun job. And while I guess it’s true you work with some hotties (there he is again! he’s talking cardiac talk! oooohhhh), the job is not half as sexy as the shows portray. I mean, even on this show, you see the highlights….guy falls down stairs and dies, woman has heart attack and dies. It’s not sexy. No mafia hitmen appear. No one says any cool one liners “Guess this guy’s day turned up cold.”
But we watch. We envy their work days. You know why? Cuz most of us work in cubicles staring at numbers all day. We want to think someone out there has a little more excitement…a little more purpose. And we watch these shows waiting for the episode that will show us it’s true. But beyond the editing, beyond the fluff and producer planted red herrings, they have the same jobs we do. Just sitting there in cubicles (or metal rooms) and staring at numbers, pieces of product, and waiting for the clock to turn 5pm.
Although I gotta say, when my time comes, I hope I get those three sexpots figuring out what offed me.
I have just learned that the posts most read on my blog were #1 My crush on Rachel Maddow and #2 My reaction to 2 Girls 1 Cup. From this, I have concluded that people love reading (or have a morbid curiosity about) my writings about lesbians, porn and politics. I can’t be offended. These happen to be my favorite topics, too.
So because it’s what the people want I’m now going to list my ideas on lesbians, porn, and politics…
porn queen Nina Hartley, lesbian recruiting, political hottie Rachel Maddow
My favorite lesbian porn scene is Belladonna and Nina Hartley in a bondage scene. I forget the film.
My favorite lesbian sex scene in mainstream film is Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger.
I do not like porn with plots (I always thought I would until I saw Curse Eternal).
I’m a liberal who feels like she would be a conservative if she were delusional (ie thought one could go from poor to rich on gumption alone).
My favorite lesbian political commentator…I’m sure you know.
I think a lesbian could be President in my lifetime ONLY because I just saw a black man become one. I did not think it before.
I do NOT think a porn star will become President in my lifetime.
If I were a porn star, I’d be too intimidated by Nina Hartley, so I’d have Jesse Jane be my first lesbian scene.
If I were to talk politics with a porn star, it’d of course be Hartley (yes, I’m a fan).
If I were to talk porn with a politician, I’d talk to George W cuz I bet he knows the real naughty stuff.
If I were to talk porn with a lesbian I guess it’d be Portia DiRossi, just to hear her say the titles.
If I were to talk politics with a lesbian, it’d be Maddow.
I don’t know anything about lesbian politics except that I voted against Prop 8 and cried when it passed.
I know more about lesbian porn which I admit, I’m not proud.
I know a healthy amount about porn politics cuz I work in a related field. I believe it should be legal as long as everyone involved is participating with full knowledge of what is going on and participating with full consent.
Okay, I think that’s it.
Okay. I am part of the hapa experience. I’m a hapa. I wrote an autobiographical play called Overflow about being a hapa. I love Tiger Woods cuz he’s a hapa making me proud. I take note of hapa actors…even Keanu Reeves. I have written/talked/researched the hapa experience. Hapa. Hapa. Hapa. I’m all about the hapas. I am Asian. But always more accurate: I am a hapa.
I have been DYING TO CALL OBAMA A HAPA! But I can’t call Obama a hapa. Cuz he’s not. And I honestly don’t know the term for people who are half and half without an Asian half. But did you know his sister is a hapa? Indonesian/Caucasian. That’s right. Obama’s sis is hapa! HAPA IN THE HOUSE! HAPA IN THE HOUSE!
Sigh, this is a stretch. Oh wait! he’s also all about Hawaii…that’s so hapa!
Yeah…not exactly.
But he IS of mixed heritage. Are there other hapa-centric bloggers thinking about what i’m thinking about? Well, let me see… I’ll be right back…
Well, well, i found a few.
Here’s a nice, concise chat about “hapa Obama.” And even shows one of my favorite hapa movie posters. This is really hitting the nail on the head of the hapa experience.
Here’s an excellent one that touches on why I didn’t want to call Obama a hapa. The half-black experience I think is inherently different than the hapa experience just like the Asian-American experience is so different from the African-American experience. This hapa writer goes into Obama’s journey as seen in “Dreams of My Father” and how it differs from his own.
Oh, here’s one calling him the Hapa Emperor. Not very nice, and I totally disagree with the White White House sentiment but hey, “Hapa Emperor.” Pretty well coined.
Well, a little google search shows what I feared and yet yearned to do has been done with abandon in the blogosphere for over a year. There’s a ton of hapa talk about our President. I’m glad I’m not the only one all crazy about this. I am a hapa, who when trapped, will settle for “Asian” but loves to distinguish that checking “OTHER” in the racial identity box is unique to us people of mixed heritage. I feel a kindred link to my mixed-heritage counterparts of any ethnicity more than I do to full blooded Japanese. Growing up never feeling I had answered fully or accurately that strange question “What are you” has made me want someone to look toward when I feel like my identity isn’t strong enough…isn’t real enough.
Obama is the first African-American president. Yes. For me (and those of us of mixed heritage), he is also the first mixed President and that is just as true, just as historically important. A hapa’s racial identity is real, is part what we are and how we think. We make a statement with our mere presence.
Long ago, during the early years of our country, the term “melting pot” was coined. It actually was a dream that Europeans would create a melting pot of offspring…like a half French and half Irish kid would send the country over the moon. They did not dare mix colors, but they dared mixing white with white. As generations passed, that dream of the melting pot evolved. A few decades ago, mixed-race marriage became legal in America and mixed-race children were legitimate. That’s right, only a few decades ago a mixed race child could be conceived by a legally married couple. 60 years ago, I’d be a bastard and so would our President. Mixed-race people say nothing less than “America’s dream came true.” The melting pot exists. And it is accepted, embraced, and loved…and as of today holds the highest Office in our country.
I forgot who on MSNBC said this, but Maddow was talking to a black woman about Michelle Obama’s fashion. She said “I hope it doesn’t rain soon. I’m not ready for all the questions about Michelle’s hair.” And, as a woman of color, with Asian curls (not like any other ethnicity’s curls, rare, and unruly), I can relate. I get a lot of advice, questions, comments, unwanted empathy about my hair. And I started imagining what may become white America’s fascination with Michelle Obama’s hair. And her fashion as well (cuz let’s face it, Michelle has turned First Lady fashion on its ear…in the way only an Obama can). Will they think First Lady Obama’s off-the-rack fashion a “black thing”? Will they confront her on how she “whitens her hair” by straightening it? Will the colors she wears become a statement on her heritage? And the obvious…what WILL she do when it rains?
I ask not because I’m interested in answers to the questions. I ask because I’m fascinated by the fascination. A fascination I have witnessed happen with most women of color. It’s awkward. It really is. I’ve been on both ends. I’ve asked the awkward questions with naivety more than racism, but..wow..the awkwardness. And I’ve been asked. “You perm, right? I’ve never seen an Asian with naturally curly hair.” “Why don’t you wear more of those Chinese blouses?” “Do all Asians sparkle when they touch?” (just kidding on the last one, but I am afraid anime will make this one an accepted myth).
Michelle Obama is going to open the floodgates. Everything she does will make us non-African-American women ask the awkward questions. And it will be lengthy and weird. Maybe at times, creepy. Because now people who are not black (including myself) will want to ask questions, fear it’s racist or will be construed as racist, not ask, find a PC way to word it and then ask in that awkward, bumbling way we ask questions when we’re afraid of pissing someone off. “Hey, um, black person, I was wondering, do most, I mean not all, that’d be a stereotype, but most…or well, many..like a few of you…I mean a few African-Americans…do you like wearing mustard? Michelle Obama did during the inauguration. I was just wondering if you all…I mean…is it a good color on you?”
A few times this fear of looking dumb as we non-blacks ponder the black experience was acknowledged honestly as the inauguration happened. I think Chris Matthews even brought up the idea that we all will start asking stupid questions to African-Americans. And one African-American pundit put it well. “We already are quite patient with the questions.”
Whew.
Is EVERY commercial about crash testing and disease? I have spent the whole day watching inauguration stuff. It’s great. It’s empowering. I’m excited. But then these commercials happen. At first, I found myself annoyed by the passive aggressive, know-it-all female narrator telling her male cohort the best internet connection, car insurance, butter substitute…blah blah…There’s even a commercial where the woman chastises the man (actually male car cartoon) for interrupting her. I hate buying products from passive aggressive, whiny bitches. Is this what advertising people think we want to listen to?
But then it got worse. Now I’m terrified of touching my phone cuz there’s worm-sized germs on it. I may have the flu or give someone the flu and THEY CAN DIE. There’s great new pharmaceuticals out there for all of us, but we may have a stroke or kidney failure from taking it….Oh! And to add to that, THERE’S NO ANGLE WHERE THE HUMAN BODY WAS MADE FOR A CRASH. i don’t know what that even means, I just know I don’t have that car and I may spontaneously fly across a room.
Thanks a lot, HBO, for broadcasting AFTER the prayer. At least it’s all over youtube. Robinson made me cry. This is a gorgeous prayer.
so crushing on Rachel Maddow…er….and writing the horror movie.
Testing ping.fm status update! This is sooo cool!
