Is EVERY commercial about crash testing and disease? I have spent the whole day watching inauguration stuff. It’s great. It’s empowering. I’m excited. But then these commercials happen. At first, I found myself annoyed by the passive aggressive, know-it-all female narrator telling her male cohort the best internet connection, car insurance, butter substitute…blah blah…There’s even a commercial where the woman chastises the man (actually male car cartoon) for interrupting her. I hate buying products from passive aggressive, whiny bitches. Is this what advertising people think we want to listen to?

But then it got worse. Now I’m terrified of touching my phone cuz there’s worm-sized germs on it. I may have the flu or give someone the flu and THEY CAN DIE. There’s great new pharmaceuticals out there for all of us, but we may have a stroke or kidney failure from taking it….Oh! And to add to that, THERE’S NO ANGLE WHERE THE HUMAN BODY WAS MADE FOR A CRASH. i don’t know what that even means, I just know I don’t have that car and I may spontaneously fly across a room.