Sean Byrne’s creepy Toronto Film Festival darling is screening at AFI Film Fest on Halloween and it’s worth the price of admission (it’s free, by the way, but the movie is worth the price of any admission). The Loved Ones will wow horror buffs next week. Here’s a review that tells you why.

Romance Lives (barely) in The Loved Ones

I had a blast watching Zombieland. I had fun watching Paranormal Activity. But seeing the big studio’s creations and picks made me hunger like a droopy goth vampire in Twilight for a true indie horror film. And I’m not indie horror groupie. I’m picky. It takes a special, twisted mind to grab my heart. The Loved Ones has done that. I fell in love with this movie. First, I have a love for horror movies that show the horror of the human mind. I have a special love for the movies who find the horror of the human mind funny.

In the Loved Ones, teenaged Brent tries to live a normal life after the death of his father, but his self-destructive ways are guided by deep guilt and he avoids love from others to dwell in grief. His girlfriend tries to understand. His mother over-protects. And a shy girl waits in the wings. But on the night of the prom, it all goes completely awry and this young man becomes a victim of obsession and psychosis.

First, the horror movie fan’s response: What a ride! I am not telling you a thing about this film because you must see it unfold without knowing a twist or turn. There is not one slow moment in this film. And every time you think it’s gored itself out, it out-gores itself. You know that scene in Misery with the block and the hammer and the foot? Yeah, well, that scene is just foreplay to the porn of mad gore you get here. But it’s not gore for gore’s sake. Each character commits their act of insanity (or passionate attempts at sanity) with believability and sense. And to accentuate the pitch-perfect writing, there is some stunningly real gore effects, gorgeous camera work, and well done editing.

Now, my chick response: What I love most about this film is we get to see women at their most powerful. Not superhero or supervillain power -true power of need, manipulation, sorrow, passion, possessiveness. Along with that, each character is rich and likable, even the antagonists. I love the moments in the film where we see wheels spinning as these people react so true to themselves.

So yeah, I know I’ve been lenient on the film reviews lately, but it’s been a good year. And this one is the cream of the crop. If you don’t catch it at AFI Fest next week, wait for that DVD and buy it.

Anyone who loves horror movies, loves low budget filmmaking, loves indie film or facebooks knows about Paranormal Activity. As someone who has seen $15K short films that sucked and multi-million dollar horror that sucked. I am completely awestruck by this film. And I am even more awestruck by the way it’s been marketed.

If you like old school horror and you are not jaded by high budget screamers, then see this film. It’s for those of us who have a high suspension of disbelief and were more scared by Robert Wise’s The Haunting than any FX laden gorefest in the last 20 years. If you watch film to point out the wires on the floating bed and the zipper on the monster suit, then stay home. This movie has only a handful of effects and all are as low tech as possible.

But the most amazing thing about this film is the marketing. There are tens of thousands of low budget horror movies out there. And I’m sure hundreds are good enough to get this hype. But we don’t know them. Why? Low budget films always have no budget PR. After winning a mere honorable mention at Screamfest in 2007 and screening at Slamdance the same year, Oren Peli and his little film was another invisible low budget horror.  But behind the scenes, money was changing hands. Dreamworks came with pen in hand wanting to remake it. But that fell through and this year, the movie got a giant push on facebook. We can’t give Oren Peli the credit, though. It was all the work of Adam Goodman, head of production at Paramount. Facebook was a cheap way to get the PR ball rolling as well as decide on where to screen and who to market to.

So now that we know this film wasn’t publicized in the same way it was created (with no money and a lot of creativity), we have to ask, “Can a small budget film do this without the big studio ties?” This reminds me of a little project I mention often in times like this -Repo: the Genetic Opera. As someone who saw the stageplay workshopped in bars around LA back in 2002, saw it complete in a number of theaters in 2003 (packed every night), and then read about the film being made in 2007, I saw Terrance Zdunich and musician Darren Smith as an inspirational “you can do it!” story for any struggling filmmaker. After years of tireless rewrites, reworks, and re-productions on the stage, the film was made for about $8.5 million. That’s admittedly no micro-budget, but it’s not the $20+ million that Zombieland and Halloween II got to play with. Thanks to Saw-famous Darren Bousman as director, it seemed a PR slamdunk. But the film was completely abandoned after some studio shenanigans and we saw the opposite of PA’s PR happen. A film with all the potential to become a blockbuster became a mere blip, only well known to horror movie fans and devout indie followers. In a panel this year at Fangoria, Zdunich admits to spending much more than 40 hours  a week promoting Repo himself. And the reward is good. Fans love with fervent loyalty. Girls squeal. Shadow casts play the film and act it out a la Rocky Horror Picture Show. But the fame isn’t the caliber of Facebook bombardment and water cooler discussions across the country. A hardworking man does not a studio PR machine make.

Does this mean only the small budget being swooped up by the big studio, combined with luck, executive persistence and lack of studio drama has a chance? Dear god, I hope not. We’re shooting in February and I have no intention of our film getting into any studio chair. It’s ours. And will stay ours. We’ll find a way…if Facebook kills us, we’ll find a way.

Repo: the Genetic Opera shadow cast

So coincidentally, as I’m contemplating what I’d put in my dream shop, John said, “We haven’t done our merchandising plan for STRIPPED yet. You’re good at that. Can you do that this week?”

And then he emailed me stuff he’d want to merchandise…t-shirts, figurines (oohh, little cannibal strippers…how cute!), toys, clothes, cd’s, posters, etc. etc. So I got on the sourcing trail and found some very unique ways to promote and merchandise a movie….

1. Private label wine – Our very own blood red wine. This seems the most fun. I’ve emailed two wineries in Texas and one in Northern California. The fun debate is in the name. Here’s my top three…

Murderer’s Malbec
Bordeaux of Blood
Killer Red

1. a. Which of course led me down the vinotherapie path to make “blood bath,” a line of bath products that are the color and consistency of blood.

2. T-shirts – Okay, that isn’t so unique, but I’m researching some better styles and materials than the average square cotton tee. It looks like we either go with the polyester dye-sublimation heat transfer t-shirts which really pop with color and never fade or crack, or the greener cotton burnout tee which is thinner that the cheap, stiff cotton tees and VERY comfortable. Both are a sexier fit on the female, too.

3. Posters – Uh. cuz we have to. But not only for the movie, we’re also going to make prints of Lindsay Marino’s art. Her stuff is going to adorn Crystal, Getty, and Lin’s bedrooms…oooh Lindsay is a perfect blend of cute and crazy. I hope she takes that in the positive way I mean it. I would link you to her art, but all I could find is her bitching about stuff…which is good, too. And that leads me to…

4. “As seen in the film, Stripped” – We’re going to merchandise many of the cool, cool things we hope to have in the film! Here’s who we’re negotiating with or already started work with:

Estevan Ramos – Designer extraordinaire who has already started the costume designs for Getty, Lin, Crystal, and Ginger. We hope to mass produce his more amazing outfits, which I bet are all of them.

Estevan Ramos' initial sketches for character, Lin

Cat Grey – We haven’t emailed her in months, but we are in love with Anastasia Grey’s adorable creatures. Half stuffed animal, half real animal corpse.

Cat Grey's Bunny Dentata

3. “Skin” covered scrapbooks. Made by yours truly! That’s right, scrapbooks that are covered in what looks and feels like human skin.

4. Blood vial BFF charm necklace – Got a friend you love to death? That’s right, again by yours truly, necklaces that carry a locket of hair and a droplet of blood of your bestest friend…forever.  Both the scrapbooks and necklaces are almost ready and photos are on their way!

5. The Cannibal Stripper Cookbook – Oh yes. I think that is self-explanatory. Tips on stripping, luring and cooking…the cannibal way.

6. The storyboards – I see storyboards are rarely published and we think the art form deserves more recognition. So once we find our storyboard artist, we’re going to work on publishing it…graphic novel style.

So here I go. I got vendors for most of the stuff, now it’s all about pricing and getting it on paper. Woohoo! That’s a store! Er…that’s merchandise!

So every few years I get a hankering for a little brick and mortar shop. I seldom care what’s in it. Usually, the stock turns into something I already have -a physical ebay shop that’s all me.

My first foray into entrepreneurial bliss was book fairs. I was doing book fairs all over the country in the hopes of making enough money to open a real solid store. I did these book fairs with my lovely friends Harvey and Louis who now have their own gorgeous, cozy brick and mortar in West Hollywood, Mystery Pier Books. I was known in the bookselling world as “Erotica Woman.” My books were far from conventional sex rags though. I had 50’s anti-sex propaganda, porn thinly veiled as morality tales, some terribly inaccurate sex science books from over a century ago, oh the list goes on. And as a foreshadowing of the blog to come, I couldn’t help but sneak in horror/supernatural lit. even then -horror erotica, sex magick, bondage, torture fetishes. After the bookselling, I realized I didn’t have the desire to go into collectibles and knew I’d never make money in “plain” books, so I got a job. A few year later, I started a theater.

My theater was a money pit, but the best money pit ever. Almost three years at the 6470 in Hollywood claimed every waking moment of my life. I got a gym membership around the corner, not for exercise, but because I never took the time to shower and had to get a place to clean up that was close and reliable. I was obsessed with my theater, so while I wrote like a fiend and loved every single actor, director and writer I met, my love was the stage itself, the lighting booth, the seats we carried all the way from the Aero Theater, and the lobby. I loved turning the key in the lock every morning, switching on the lights, climbing the ladder to the booth and looking down on that empty stage, those empty seats. That embracing silence that fills a theater just before the bustle of script pages and people and lines and laughs take over through the day and into the wee hours of night. It is such an amazing feeling.

So I want one again. A brick and mortar. And I have my sights on this adorable spot on Vineland. It’s small, maybe half the size my theater was. Cute. Looks like a house.

But what to put in it? I’ll answer that tomorrow…..

Funny story about this story in the video…

A little backstory, first. (Lots of story today). I was raised by a Shinto-Buddhist and an agnostic from Kansas (which I swear is a sect of non-Christian Christian that deserves a name). So I was technically not raised Christian, but my two loving parents wanted me to get a good education in a strong moral arena. Not knowing a thing about Christian schools, they assumed that would be a good place to get smarts and morality…so I spent my childhood in a First Christian School where I learned that the world would end in a matter of days and “what do you want to be when you grow up” had only two answers: “taken up in the rapture” or “staying behind to save others”. I loved Jesus in that childhood and tried to convert my parents. I dragged Mom to church after church, hoping it’d spark her interest. I told Bible stories to my dad who was entertained by his 10 year old evangelist, but not convinced. In those formative years, my parents were very patient with me. Mom even accepted Christ…much like one accepts another stamp in their stamp collection. And at around 13, a number of tragic, eye-opening and eye-closing events led me to atheism. At around 20, I became  Christian Atheist. Which means…well…we’ll get into that.

So now to the story to go with the story in the video:

In college, a fellow student was trying to convert me (not knowing my extensive and bizarre history with christianity). And as we sat on my dorm bed, she told me the story of the man and the train and his son in the path of the train and the sacrifice he made. i wept. i cried so hard she felt guilty and to calm me down, she pleaded, “it’s just a story. it’s not real.” Then she told me about God and His son and dumb humans screwing up and His sacrifice. She paused to watch my tears return and I gave only a blank stare. Because, not only had I heard that story before (over and over and over), THAT story was different. THAT story was about GOD. And GOD -how it is defined, the limits of its power, the choice it has in those limitations, etc.- is up for debate. All the components that made me cry in the “fictional story” was not at all present in the “real story.” God decided to put His Son in the path of an oncoming train. God chose to make that the rules. And we decided to define all this as “father” and “son” and “sacrifice.”

Years later i found that my view of christianity was crystalized that very moment.

The story of Jesus is a powerful tale. No matter how “God” and “Son” and “Father” and “sacrifice” are defined, this story rings to the heart of a seeking soul. It is believed by many to be true. It is believed by many to be a work of fiction. What is amazing is that, if you let that go. Let the importance of “reality” go. This story separate from the religion, will make one weep. A man dedicated his life to motivating people into an uprising, a spiritual, political, mental uprising. And he was executed for it. When that is done..almost a century later….men write about him. A legend is written by different men. And those writings survive thousands of years later. Not only survives. That writing makes millions of people turn their lives around -for better or worse.

What if the reality of the story wasn’t important to Christianity? What if “accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour” was elective? You could take the teachings of Christ (just the words Jesus said to his disciples and the story of his life, death and rebirth) and learn from it. Take what you liked and left the rest in the book. What if you only used the power of this story for good? Wouldn’t that make Christianity even better than Christianity currently is?

Some movies inspire us to write about them with glee. My night at the movie and day at the press conference was so fun. And it wasn’t just me. Most of the press acted like fans more than journalists….we forgot who we were and reveled in a fun film. I guess big studio can get it right sometimes…

http://www.movingpicturesmagazine.com/reviews/movies/zombieland

http://www.movingpicturesmagazine.com/featuredarticles/specialfeatures/the-unlikely-creators-of-zombieland

So I spend $400 on a loan application fee just to get a pre-approval letter for a house. Then I find the house. Spend two months in lending limbo and get DENIED. Bad credit? No. Law after me? No. The house had a problem. They denied me for my own good. You know, it’s a “bad investment.” Nevermind this bad investment is worth more than i’m buying it for and DIRT CHEAP.

I got a loan on that same house in two weeks through another lender. And I now own a home that -fascinating- is doubling in value within the year. It is an amazing investment.

So, I tell Chase this. I tell them I’d like a partial refund on that loan app fee cuz they denied me for NO GOOD REASON. They say no. I say “okay, how about a line of credit.” I apply. And then denied ON ANOTHER TECHNICALITY!

So below is my letter to the mortage consultant this morning. WHERE DID OUR BAILOUT MONEY GO???? To the schmucks hoarding it at the top. I am so pissed. And it pisses me off even more thinking of people who are getting conned into loan apps for loans they’ll never get and their families’ SHELTER is relying on that loan. i’m lucky. I got an apartment and a house and my parents are kickin’ it in the ‘burbs in their 40 year old house. I got a roof. But there are people who need a place to live. Ugh. Ugh. Dumb bank.

PS Small lenders are KEY to a good home loan. I’m ecstatic about my lender. He got me my loan in a third the time it took Chase to deny me.

After a week in the Horror House, I have found my friend, Marc, to be the best location scout/house hunter on the face of this particular planet. Our new house is not only adorable and exceptionally well maintained, it is also creepy. The stairwell is narrow and enclosed. All the rooms are tiny and the ceilings low making them cozy more than cramped in person, but on camera…the angles make the walls and ceiling seem antagonizing in their looming proximity. The house has a small oval hallway with six doors that make traveling from room to room feel like an eerie version of Let’s Make a Deal. Also, a perfect coincidence..the woman who owned the house before put the first letter of her last name on the screen doors of the double-door entry….Her last name started with an H. So now..the two H’s….Horror House.

Yes. All. So. Perfect.

Cute. So deceptively cute.

Cute. So Deceptively Cute.

I was reading old comments on this blog and someone asked what beauty there was in death. No, that wasn’t the question. The question was what glamour there was in death. If it wasn’t the question, I find it more appealing, so I’ll say it is.

Why is death beautiful? Easy answer. Death is beautiful because it is awe inspiring. Death does not ever stop only one life. It ripples out, freezing the movement of everyone near it. Death is truly a cold hand on your shoulder. When you hear of someone passing, it chills you. It takes every expectation you had for the next week, month, year, decade…and annihilates it. And that is, in many ways, God’s voice, directly on you…”Your life is an illusion. Your purpose has nothing to do with anything on your to do list. Your happiness is nowhere near that drink, that sex, that blackberry, that computer. You are here for one thing. Gratitude.” And then your week, month, year, decade is sharing memories, giving to the ones most affected, receiving from those less affected, loving everyone a little more, feeling feelings a lot more. “Thank you for your well wishes.” “Thank you for coming.” “Thank you for the food. I just haven’t had a chance to cook since..” “Thank you.” “I am thankful for…” “You’re welcome.” In effect, your life becomes gratitude. That is why death is beautiful.

Okay, before going into why death is glamorous, I also want to touch on why it is fascinating, especially to artists. Alan Ball, creator of Six Feet Under and True Blood, in an Entertainment Weekly interview: “When I was 13 years old, I was in a car accident with my sister who was driving the car. It was her 22nd birthday and she died. She died in front of me. She died all over me. (Death) stuck its big old ugly face in my face and my life changed. That’s why death seems to be a theme that appears in all my stuff.” But not all artists who find death their main character are so close to death in their life. I know I, personally, write about death because I have so little direct interaction with it. I know I fear loss. I fear my own death. And as I contemplate it, I have no event or person who instantly attaches to my brain. And it does lead me to have a fairly rich imagination on how death “works.” And since I know it will happen sooner or later -death will become a prevalent part of my days as I get older and it becomes more and more inevitable,- I don’t let it go. I explore it in hopes of preparing for it. So we are fascinated with death because we will meet it, it and as life goes on, know it better and better. We are fascinated because, no matter if you believe in God, you must know that Death is a higher power than you. It may be the only higher power you will admit to, but it cannot be denied. Our fascination is us bracing ourselves to meet this stronger force.

Now why is death glamorous? Why is this sacred, albeit inevitable, event so primped and paraded in tv and film? CSI shows, serial killer homages, medical examiner reality shows, true crime, horror movies (mmmm horror movies), goth kids, skull fashion and on and on and on. What do we see in this dark, dark world?

We are terrified of our own mortality. We know our fear is irrational. Moot. We will die. Guaranteed. So some decide the logical recourse is to embrace it. Have fun with it. It’s gonna happen. Let’s make it a party. So some plan their funerals like final hurrahs. They joke about the way they will die to combat the terror in knowing they have no idea how…or worse yet, they know how and it terrifies them all the more. Some laugh with death. Some laugh at others’ death. Some make it sexy. Some of us even whore it out, selling final days with t-shirts and posters. All this is not embracing. It feels like it. It feels like if I wear a skull and crossbones on my pretty dress, then I’m fine with the end. I’m so cool with it, I wear it. But it’s only a bizarre twist on keeping your enemies closer. You hate death, so you befriend it, hoping it never turns on you. But all of us who try never succeed. Death doesn’t need your voluntary embrace. We glamorize death in the hopes of its voluntary release.

I am one of the people who loves horror movies and keeps fake body bits in my house. Hell, I’m even making a cannibal movie. I certainly don’t judge the glamorized end. But I always feel awkward when the “fun death” suddenly hits a very real nerve and it’s no longer fun and it’s horrible. I feel cheap. Which is all the more reason to explore why death is sensationalized and hyped. When are we allowing death to be revered for the sacred event that it is? When are we forcing it to be less than what it is? I don’t want to cheapen death. I want to respect it as I delve into its darkness. I want my humor to be respectful. I even want my gore to be respectful. Death is not a friend. It is not an enemy. Death is family. Always there, influencing us, and by our side, whether we see it or not. So because of that, I hope to work with death, learn and explore and expose death with my eyes open to my own fears and hang ups.